It’s an act so common you probably did it today or have done it many times before. The problem is, when done excessively, it could ruin your life. We are talking about daydreaming.
“I found out the man I thought was my dad was not my dad when I was seven years old… my mom made it sound like it was a secret and no one was supposed to know. It was a heavy burden for me. Many times I would wonder who else knew and what my real dad was like,” says Bongi Ncwane (name changed to protect identity).
All these questions in her mind set off a world of fantasy and pathological daydreaming.
Ncwane says she would spend a lot of time thinking about what life could have been like with a dad.
“My two older sisters had their dad and my two younger sisters have their dad and then there was me. Although my sisters were great and we could share everything, there was this one thing I couldn’t tell anyone.”
To cope, Ncwane says she created another world in her head.
“I started excessive continuous daydreaming. There is a separate life in my head. This world has a mom, a dad and I am the only child,” she says.
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The continuous daydreaming happened for years before she knew there was a problem. One day, she realized that she was spending hours daydreaming. It was eating into her productivity.
“I daydream and it feels real. If something is happening in my head and it’s emotional, I cry in the real life and when happy I would be happy. I realized I couldn’t control the daydreaming. I knew the difference between real life and what was in my head but there was always a need to do it,” says Ncwane.
She was worried and depressed. She says she spent time researching mental illnesses, like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, but her symptoms didn’t fit any known conditions.
“I would beat myself up about it because everyone daydreams but I couldn’t control mine. It was taking away from my productivity and although doing very well in my career, I wanted to know why there was another me in my head who was growing, although at a slower rate, as I grew,” says Ncwane.
In Israel, 10,000kms from Cape Town where she is, was her answer.
For the first time, about 17 years ago, Dr Eli Somer, a Clinical Professor of Psychology at Israel’s University of Haifa, noticed an unusual mental activity in his trauma patients. Like Ncwane, they craved extensive fantasizing and often spent hours daydreaming.
“This condition is mostly caused by childhood trauma. In my work with trauma patients, I found that some survivors of childhood maltreatment who possess the intense daydreaming trait, are often intensely tempted to dissociate from their uncontrollable mental pain and absorb themselves in a fantasy world, of which they are in full control,” says Somer.
Somer has been conducting research in the field since. In a seminal paper, published in 2002, he presented this condition, which he termed Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD). Exactly like what Ncwane describes, Somer defined it as extensive fantasy that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal or vocational functioning.
“I believe that this type of highly absorptive, fanciful and vivid form of daydreaming requires a special ability. The ability to create an inner world, a mental virtual reality. This trait, often discovered accidentally during childhood, is experienced as highly enjoyable,” says Somer.
It is dangerous. According to Somer in some extreme cases, MD can replace real life.
“People with MD prefer to spend every waking moment of their lives in their inner worlds. In such severe cases, the sufferers display additional mental disorders and are unable to sustain themselves.”
Ncwane and the trauma patients Somer has met are not the only ones talking about this condition. Hundreds of people on social media tell stories of how excessive daydreaming has affected their lives.
“I have lost three jobs in the last 16 months,” says Doreen Wales (name changed to protect identity), who says she can spend up to nine hours a day daydreaming.
“I can’t seem to be able to snap out of it. I have tried to explain to therapists and I have been on various kinds of medication over the past 10 years but nothing seems to work. Unfortunately, this condition seems far-fetched to get the attention it needs. I am happy there is a Facebook community of people going through this and we help each other cope. I have to always try to be active, play music or continue talking to people because once it’s too quiet, I fall into daydreaming,”  says Wales.
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In fact, according to Somer, the rewarding properties of MD also explain why it can develop into a maladaptation. He says people with the condition prefer to daydream whenever they can, and do so at the expense of their daily productivity. It can be triggered by evocative music or repetitive physical movement, such as pacing or rocking.
“To my mind, MD is a dissociative absorption that has evolved into mental addiction,” says Somer.
Unlike schizophrenics, according to Somer, people who suffer from MD, differentiate well between fantasy and reality. In a recent study, on the comorbidity of MD, he found no evidence that schizophrenia is even similar to MD.
The problem is, the clinical field of MD is very young. The condition is not yet well recognized, so people like Ncwane and Wales will continue to pay the price until scientific research yields more answers.
For now, the lives in their heads hold more promise than the real world they open their eyes to.

The Mind’s Virtual Reality

Having suffered panic attacks for 10 years, Zane Wilson could have easily thrown her hands in despair. Instead, pain led to creativity. She formed a support group to help others face their deepest fears, and is today free of the painful episodes that traumatized her life.
Today, this support group, which started in the hallowed halls of the Sandton library in Johannesburg initially attended by a group of 80 people 20 years ago, is the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), founded by Wilson, a South African businesswoman.
<img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-29776 alignleft" src="http://www.forbesafrica.com/app/uploads/2017/05/100_2074-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="300" srcset="https://cms.forbesafrica.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/100_2074-225x300.jpg 225w, https://cms.forbesafrica.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/100_2074-300x400.jpg 300w, https://cms.forbesafrica.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/100_2074-600x800.jpg 600w, https://cms.forbesafrica.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/100_2074-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://cms.forbesafrica.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/100_2074.jpg 767w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" />
“I started the group and soon had to get a second phone, which rang night and day. I have had calls from people all over Africa looking for help. I have never had an attack since.”
Wilson’s first experience of a panic attack was on the highway, on her way to a business meeting.
“I suddenly felt hot. My palms started sweating. I started shaking and my heart started beating fast. I was terrified, but couldn’t understand why. I thought I was losing my mind,” recalls Wilson.
The attacks got worse, at times going up to three or more episodes a day.
“I was the director of a very busy company and had more and more attacks. I became acutely suicidal.”
She sought medical help, which included blood tests, assessments, even a lumbar puncture, and attended counselling, but they were all in vain. It got to a point where she couldn’t lead a normal life.
“I couldn’t even go to a shopping mall or a grocery store without an attack starting. I was determined to keep working and my husband had to follow me to work and I’d come back with staff. It reached a point where I couldn’t even be at home on my own. I would have to be dropped off at a neighbor’s. Eventually I was sent to a professor of psychiatry and he told me that I was suffering from panic attacks,” says Wilson.
This is a route most victims are familiar with. According to SADAG, South Africans will, on average, visit 11 doctors and spend over R20,000 ($1,800) on medical investigations before arriving at the diagnosis.
Recent research points to strong genetic or hereditary factors that might predispose some to paralyzing panic. Attacks can be triggered by non-biological factors too. Stressful experiences, caffeine, cold and flu medications, Lariam (the anti-malarial drug), appetite suppressants and local anaesthetics containing adrenaline may cause attacks that last an average of four to six minutes.
Clinical psychologist Lee-Ann Hartman says of all the disorders within the spectrum of anxiety and depression, panic attacks are the most treatable. With the right therapy, she claims 90% of people recover greatly and the remaining 10% can experience significant recovery.
“It’s very important to seek help early on, as once it starts developing, the sufferer will associate the panic attack with a certain place, person or situation. Mental illness as a whole is greatly underestimated and grossly under-resourced. In South Africa, one in 10 people suffer from HIV/Aids – whereas one in three people will experience mental illness at some point in their lives.
“People suffer in silence and among high-achieving women, there is always the fear it will be seen as a weakness.”
Hartman says that a panic attack is a false alarm set off by our innate ‘fight or flight’ instinct where a slew of hormones are released.
“When the fight or flight response happens in an appropriate situation, you don’t think about your trembling, increased heart rate&#8230; But when it comes out of the blue for no reason, your cognitive interpretation is ‘what is happening to me, am I having a heart attack’?”
She recommends a full medical to determine the underlying physiological – and psychological – factors.

Tag: Trauma

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The Mind’s Virtual Reality

Don’t Hit The Panic Button,Yet