Have you ever wondered why it is that men who are happy to question everything about women, including their ability to think rationally and lead organizations intelligently and profitably, say nothing about multitasking?
I have a theory. I admit it is no science or divinely revealed knowledge, but it is a theory nevertheless.
You see, growing up in my grandmother’s house in Soweto, South Africa, I did not know that as a male child I was not inherently able to multitask.
From an early age, I was responsible for certain chores. For example, it was my responsibility to pick up litter around the yard. Later, I also became responsible for cleaning the toilet, which in the original township houses was always in a corner at the end of the yard.
With my cousins, boys and girls, we were all responsible for more than one task. We had to juggle these with playing, doing schoolwork and keeping up with the latest hits on the radio. I had to pick up my younger siblings from crèche, do my father’s dry cleaning and whatever other extra chores my mother had commanded.
While playing street soccer with my friends, I remember watching the length of the shadows to determine when my grandmother was about to arrive home, which meant that I had to run home to boil water for her tea.
My point: I had to read books to learn that as a man, I was not a natural at multitasking. This, according to mass media, happens to be a woman thing.
At first it was a disappointment. You see, I grew up in a South Africa obsessed with emphasizing how inherently different human beings were. As a result of my political consciousness, I questioned anything that suggested some people were lucky to be born with certain genes and those who were not just had to grin and bear it.
Then it dawned on me: If I had a partner whom I could praise for being a natural multitasker, my life would be so much easier.
I could get away with doing very little around the house. I would do only one thing at a time and if, for argument’s sake, it coincided with my favorite sport on TV, it would have to wait.
After all, it was not my fault. I was a mere man and therefore deprived of that which enabled women to multitask.
My partner, on the other hand, would have to do all the housework and help the kids with their homework. Even as we switched off the lights at night, her amazing ability to multitask would continue, as she worried about what to wear the next day and how to find ways of pleasing me.
Again, it was not my fault that she had been blessed with the multitasking gene, which somehow enabled her to fit so much into the finite time she had.
That was the plan.
Now that I have sons and a daughter I know it would be remiss of me to perpetuate the nonsense that men or women have special abilities that members of the opposite sex do not have.
I cannot imagine my daughter being the partner of my younger self.
My sons will be adults in the 21st century and must shed the mentality that they have a one-track mind that renders them unable to walk and chew gum at the same time. They certainly will be multitasking in my house, just like their sister.
Women have an equal responsibility to revisit the idea that multitasking is in their blood. It might mean they can take on a lot simultaneously, but as leaders and managers it also diminishes their ability to delegate. These women often end up being surrounded by people who do not trust them.
In an ever-changing world, we have to think on our feet and think laterally. I cannot imagine any organization that hopes to thrive by accepting that only certain people can be trusted with doing more than one task at a time. And not because they are lousy at their work, but because the dice simply rolled unfortunately for them.
Of course, women can choose to believe that multitasking is their divinely given privilege. From where I sit, the beneficiaries of such a belief will be lazy and inept men, while women become superwomen.
I cannot speak for women, but in my experience, women of whom a lot is demanded become increasingly resentful and grumpy. And eventually, the quality of their work or their family life suffers.
You do not need a degree in medicine to know that unhappiness is infectious. And you certainly do not need an MBA to know that any organ-ization made up of sourpusses does not make for a great workplace.

The multitasking gene

Just about every self-help movement from spirituality to leadership to parenting extols the virtue of being more present. We’re told to cultivate being introspective, still, and to pay attention to what we’re doing at the time we’re doing it. If we focus on the person or task in front of us, we give them, and ourselves, a gift. I wholeheartedly believe this is a good and positive thing.
But man, do I struggle with it.
I am a master multitasker. I’m a business owner, a mother of two school-age kids, and involved in a bunch of outside activities. I feel like my days are often a race against time, with dates and details bouncing in and out of my head like super important ping pong balls. That’s not even talking about the electronic devices, social media, and emails I keep up with. (I am admittedly a news and good TV junkie. Here’s looking at you Breaking Bad.) Uh oh, I digressed.
Yes, I want to be more present. I want to tune out work when I’m home, and be more often in the moment. I’m regularly trying new ideas that push me along in that direction — and I’ve made some decent progress (with focus and effort.)
For all you sworn multitaskers, take heart. That efficiency you’ve cultivated can be coupled with an intent to be present with lots of positive benefits. Not only will being more present help you feel less stressed and promote better relationships, studies show that mindfulness can also benefit your physical health and even increase your lifespan.
Here are some ideas for how to go from distracted to mindfully present:
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<h4>1) Turn off electronics and email</h4>
No surprise that this one tops the list; it’s my own Achilles heel. The Energy Project’s Tony Schwartzhas found that 80% of us are rarely, if ever, disconnected from our email. There are many advantages to being constantly reachable, but in the long term, in addition to causing stress and unnecessary distraction, it can also alter the way we think and behave.
As Schwartz says, “it isn’t overload we’re battling anymore, it’s addiction — to action, and information, and connection, but above all to instant gratification.” We no longer know how to wait, and our activities are tainted by listening for that ping that tells us we have a message.  If you want to be more present, turn off your electronics and stop checking your email when you’re having a conversation with someone, working on a project that requires concentration, or even when you just want to enjoy the moment.
Schwartz, for example, is a major proponent of an electronics-free lunch break. Leaving your smartphone in the car until after dinner or checking it at the door are other options. I’ve learned that if my phone is in front of me, I’ll check it. Better to put it away.
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<h4>2) Center before a conversation</h4>
Centering is a key skill that coaches learn before meeting with a client. To be a good coach, you need to be fully present and actively listening — which requires tuning out any static or energy from whatever came beforehand. The process is simple. Before you begin a conversation or meeting, take a moment and get intentional about how you want to show up. I also take a few deep breaths and remove distractions. If I’m at my desk, I move so I’m away from my workspace.
This allows me to come into a coaching session calm, open and present. Consider the opposite. We all know what it feels like to have someone enter a room stressed, distracted, and still reeling from their last meeting.
When you practice active listening, it’s far easier to stay in the moment as well.  Active listening is what it sounds like: not only do you listen to someone, but you actively ask questions and engage in the conversation.  In a helpful article, psychologist John M. Grohol lays out some basic active listening tips and techniques. These include restating what you’ve just heard to be sure you understand it clearly (“So you think office policy about PTO needs to change?”) and sharing your observations about what the person has said (“You seem frustrated.”)
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<h4>3) Break from the madness</h4>
As I’ve mentioned before, studies have shown that taking a short break between tasks helps the mind recharge and refocus. Zen teacher, CEO, and author Marc Lesser has this advice for how to integrate breaks to reduce stress and a speeding mind. The first is to “rest mentally and physically in between or outside of your usual activities, perhaps instituting a regular practice of meditation, retreats, breaks, and reflection. In the midst of a busy life, a full work day, go for a walk, do yoga, read some poetry.”
If yoga or poetry isn’t your bag, Lesser suggests taking a few moments to breathe deeply and reflect. Anyone can do this without leaving their desk.
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<h4>4) Schedule important</h4>
discussions without a hard stop
When we’re in back-to-back meetings, it’s difficult to be present because we’re also thinking of what happened before and what’s next. For important discussions, leave room for the conversation. Make sure to structure a situation where you can both focus on what the other has to say, perhaps even out of the office. This also means not having a hard stop or starting a conversation at the end of the day.
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<h4>5) Consider (and verbalize)</h4>
what you’re saying no to
For everything we say yes to, we’re saying no to something else. When you reflect on that and verbalize it, the decision is much easier. i.e. “I’m saying no to my kids so I can respond to a non-urgent email” or “I’m saying no to planning this pivotal project so I can say yes to surfing Twitter.” When you put it out there, the distinction often makes the real choice laughable. What’s taking away our full and focused presence doesn’t deserve it at all.

Tag: Multitasking

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The multitasking gene

The Multitaskers’